There's a fun site called Momversation.com that features several of the popular mommy bloggers in video coversations about parenting hot topics. People like Heather of Dooce, Maggie of Mighty Girl and Alice Bradley of Finslippy offer their personal opinions about issues like homeschooling, breastfeeding and sex after baby. Recently, they posted an episode about whether circumcision is wrong.
I have to say that I never second-guessed our decision to circumcise either Wyatt or Dylan, but it certainly makes for an interesting debate. Bottom-line (in my humble opinion) is this: Circumcision is not infant mutilation. But it is a personal decision. Check this out...
I have a policy against posting anonymous comments. If you'd like to sign your name and provide a link, I'll be glad to post it.
Posted by: Ainsley Arment | February 05, 2009 at 06:55 PM
Ains, I'm with you. I don't think that it is infant mutilation. In fact one of the reasons we decided to do it was because my husband knew of a couple kids in school that got razzed pretty hard for not being circumcised. Was that the only reason, no. And we've never second guessed our decision. It was just that---our decision. Every parent has the right to choose how to raise their child. We are never going to agree 100% with how other parents raise their kids. That's part of the beauty I think. We can have different parenting styles, different convictions, but we can come together to support each other with all our differences aside. I'm not sure if the last part of that will make much sense to anyone but me... ;)
Interesting topic though---I look forward to reading responses.
Posted by: Melanie | February 05, 2009 at 07:25 PM
WOW, I must be out of the hot topics for moms, because I really didn't know people got that worked up about it. We had out boys circumsized and had no idea it was such a big deal. I guess my opinion is, will this act or lack of, affect a child's character or heart, because to me, that's what really matters.
Posted by: stephanie balvin | February 06, 2009 at 11:16 AM
I hope that no one takes my story the wrong way as I feel that each couple must do what they feel like God has called them to do…even if it’s opposite to what Dan and I have felt led to do :)
Dan and I always thought that we would circumcise our boys even though my sister and her husband did not circumcise their boys (Europeans do not circumcise). I didn’t want to know any information about it to be quite honest…as I knew that it was painful and I was terrified of it. We were also told that our insurance would not cover circumcision as it was now considered to be cosmetic surgery. My sister did speak to a urologist who wasn’t circumcised and in fact did not recommend it; so I did know that there were no medical reasons for it.
This may sound weird, but one night while I was pregnant with Duncan; I woke up in the middle of the night with such a strong conviction that Dan and I were NOT supposed to circumcise him. I literally felt like weeping and did in fact as I talked to my husband about it. I found out later that my sister had been up that night praying for us as she also felt that we were not to circumcise. The only reason Dan wanted to do it was because he thought that it was biblical.
We actually researched that end of the argument and new that that we’re not under the old covenant and found out that circumcision was part of that covenant. Jesus became the ultimate blood sacrifice for us and so we as believers are no longer commanded to circumcise or perform sacrifices.
I cannot begin to tell you how much peace and joy Dan and I both felt when we made the decision not to circumcise our sons. It was like a huge weight had been lifted and I was no longer afraid of having boys. We also chose not to circumcise Kellan and that decision for us has been a joyful one :)
Again for any who do choose to circumcise that is between you and God. We have felt amazing peace with our decision and I’m sure there are others who have circumcised and have felt that same peace. So hopefully I didn’t offend anyone with my little tidbit :)
Posted by: Anna | February 06, 2009 at 12:29 PM
We did it for both of our boys...it wasnever even debated. The allergist told us dust mites and mold (both a pretty big reaction). We are trying some things that he suggested for his eczema for a few weeks. If it isn't better then we will try elminiating dairy again. He also suggested a nasal steroid spray for him...still researching that one.
Posted by: Nan | February 06, 2009 at 12:38 PM
Thanks for your feedback, ladies. I know this can be a heated issue, and so I really appreciate your openess about the subject.=)
Posted by: Ainsley Arment | February 06, 2009 at 02:16 PM
We never thought twice about whether or not we would circumcise our boys. It was pretty much a given. Even though we're not under the old covenant any longer, we still hold to the fact that circumcision was a sign of the covenant that God had with His people. We know others who didn't circumcise initially, but have had to go back and circumcise later - like 3 years old - due to cleanliness issues and infection. I would much rather take care of it when they're babies and don't know any better than to have to do it later when they're much more aware.
Posted by: jen | February 06, 2009 at 05:42 PM
When I found out I was pregnant with a boy, my first, back in 1998, I didn't realize that not having my son circumcised was even an option. I had always thought that that was just what was done. But, my husband's family, being European, was vehemently against circumcision(as was my husband). I can remember crying, thinking how I was going to upset my inlaws if I did, and wondering how to convince them all how it was the best thing for my baby boy to have it done. I went to a Baby Fair, sponsored by our local mall, it was filled with vendors,and lots of informational tables dealing with everything involving pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing. I was in a hurry, and on my way out, saw a table set up with info about circumcision, I was so excited, this was just what I needed to convince my husband's family!!! It was only later on in the car that I realized that all the info I had picked up was against circumcision!! I read through everything, and was horrorfied, to say the least! I also learned about the whole cleanliness issue, even about how it can affect sexuality later on in adult life. But, I still wasn't convinced.....A few months before my son's birth, my Grandmother called me and told me to turn on CNN, that the head of the Academy of Pediatrics was on and discussing why they no longer were saying circumcsion was a necessary procedure...after hearing him speak, and seeing actual video footage of circumcisions, my mind was made up, much to the relief of my husband and his parents! I am pleased with my decision to leave my three boys intact, we have never had any problems, once when I thought something might be wrong with one of my boys, and took him to a urologist, I was told that everything was fine, and found out the urologist himself was intact, and did not recommend circumcision. My husband has never had any issues being intact, and was never made fun of as a little boy, which had been one of my fears for my sons. The decision is always up to the parents, and whether my friends choose to circumcise or not is their business, and I have never, and will never look down on anyone who chooses to circumcise, to each his own!:0)
Posted by: April | February 06, 2009 at 08:24 PM
WOW...I just got time to watch the video and really had no idea that people had such strong opinions about this topic! We never second guessed our decision either to have both our boys circumcised. Tony actually stayed with both boys while the procedure was done and I remember when he came back with my first born that I sobbed b/c he was crying and I was looking at this little guy we were supposed to protect and we had chosen to do this to him and I was surely sad, but I didn't think it was the wrong thing to do!
Posted by: Becky | February 08, 2009 at 08:57 PM
Honestly, I think it is such a personal decision... and you know what? I have seen people inflict more pain and abuse emotionally on their children that totally surpasses the act of circumcision, so I wonder why people can get so up in arms about circumcising but not about other things people do to their children... *sigh*
Posted by: Jodie | February 09, 2009 at 06:56 AM
thanks for posting this ains--what a cool site!
circumcision can be such a heated thing, but i'm glad the conversation is out there. for a long time i thought circumcision was just this automatic thing--didn't realize there was any sort of decision to be made. i was glad to hear friends talking about what they'd do when they were having boys before me because it got me thinking early.
there are so many things we do as a culture and don't really think about. i'm the kind of person who likes to investigate things and make my own decision instead of going with the flow automatically, so motivation to circumcision or not was something i wanted to look into. we found some almost-propaganda material adamantly opposed to it as well as studies on the other side claiming benefits of circumcision which were almost all later renounced by the medical community. we learned that there are some questionable things in our country's history regarding the promotion of circumcision as beneficial. but we didn't buy that it's a form of genital mutilation either, that god would have commanded his chosen people to adopt a harmful practice. we also found out that the historic jewish circumcision procedure was fairly different from today's practice and didn't actually remove the whole foreskin.
in the end we didn't think it mattered quite so much as it does to some people, and we couldn't find any compelling reason to do it. so our son is intact. for now we live in europe and have friends who are from many different countries, and only the americans are circumcised. it's definitely something that people in most countries don't even consider doing unless their religion specifies it.
so interesting discussion, but i do agree that there are many more important decisions to be made in caring for our children.
Posted by: nicole | February 11, 2009 at 08:29 AM
Hello Ainsley!
I'm the Web Producer of Momversation. Thanks so much for embedding our video on your site!
I wanted to give you a heads up that our episode tomorrow. Our main page will feature the video Mommy Wars.
Once again, thanks for linking to us. Keep in touch!
Posted by: Christine Tarbet | February 12, 2009 at 06:01 PM